(1999, dir. Miike)
If Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Segal were more bad-ass and better actors and harder working and had generated individually massive oeuvres of direct-to-video/dvd crime/cop/mafia flicks and then, finally, for the first time ever, they were in a film TOGETHER and that film is directed by a somewhat cockamamie exploitation on-the-cheap director who realizes the combination of these two grindhouse cinema titans in one film verily DEMANDS that caution & logic be thrown to the wind (at times) since the collision of these two demigodly freight trains dictates this head-to-head conflict be larger than life.
This hypothetical film has never been made.
But if you substitute the imaginary badass version Van Damme & Segal for real-life Japanese grindhouse badasses Sho Aikawa and Riki Takeuchi, and put them in their first filmic outing together (directed by weirdo Takashi Miike), you get Dead or Alive.
As sayeth Riki: "Here comes the fast part."
Sho, one-armed and with a bazooka in the final showdown. Oh, its on!!!!
Read the Midnite Eye article.