Question Box

In the 7th grade there were these 2 kids: Josh and Marshall. The jr. high in question was a bit odd, seeing as it was an even mix of North Dakotan kids and kids from the nearby air force base. Both Marshall and Josh were base kids, well, Marshall was, for sure. I think Josh was. At a time I was playing AD&D games that comprised of making characters and then having my friend Dan use the random encounter tables to give us something to fight, or just playing Talisman (both the set of AD&D books and Talisman were actually just hand me downs from Dan's older brother).

Marshall, meanwhile, was sitting down at the cafeteria table and flipping through the first edition of the cyberpunk RPG. Being 1988-89 and me being just 13 and pretty new to the whole sci-fi and fantasy thing, I can definitely say that was my first exposure to the term 'cyberpunk.'

Josh and Marshall would relate tales of their hijinx or try to generally crack each other up pretty continuously, so we got to hear in great detail how Josh had subscribed to Playboy and would have to race his mom everyday to make sure he got to the mailbox first, so he could remove any incriminating evidence before she saw it.

Unlike just about the rest of us 13-year-olds, he not only had a girlfriend, but was actually getting to feel her tits, and playing jokes like "tune-in-tokyo" on her.

My absolute favorite Josh & Marshall moment was during the sex ed unit of our health class.

The teacher, a nice enough, well-meaning guy, had set out a question box that students could use to ask questions secretly, which he would then answer out loud in front of the whole class. This makes a great deal of sense since few 13 year olds would even dare ask questions in front of the whole class about sex.

One day, he announces that there was a question in the box, and reads the note aloud:

"Can you get pregnant from swallowing sperm?"¹

Dutiful to the end, he answered the question. Josh and Marshal were beet red and snickering. I swear I though they would pee their pants.

We moved away to Portland at the end of that school year.

-d.d.

¹ Hilariously, the teacher gave the sentence this unnecessary extra beat: Can you get pregnant --- from swallowing sperm?"