THE PIGGIES ANSWER

   Donkey—Hulloa, Porker.  Why stay in that pen and be fed on wheat?  Wouldn't you like to get out here in the pasture?

   Wheat-Fed Porker—Go 'long,  you ignorant donkey: you don't know that "the pen is mightier than the sward."  I belong to the famous Shield Brand Ham, Bacon and Lard family.. Through this Shield Brand connection, I have access to all the best families in Oregon.  The ladies ask their grocers for Shield Brand every time.

 

 

["Pen mightier than the sward" is amazing.]

Oregonian.  November 22, 1896,

Rarity of a Perfect Nose

A beautiful nose is the greatest possible ornament to the face of a woman, and so rare that it excites the admiration at once. Lavater, the physiognomist, declared that there were thousands of beautiful eyes to one handsome nose. It is a somewhat singular fact that only about three in every 100 noses are to be found where they belong - in the middle of the face: 97 will be digress from the perpendicular line which the bridge should form from a straight line drawn exactly between the eyes. The Greek nose, which is the beautiful, is so rare that artists have frequently looked in vain for a Greek-nosed model.

 



[Written by Tristam Shandy's father, apparently...]

 

["Babe, why are you wearing that clown outfit?" "Its a dressing sacque, dear."  "A sack?"  "Sacque, dear."]

Oregonian, from its 'For Women' pages.  Sunday, July 7, 1895.

Lassoing a Mountain Lion

 

Oregonian. July 7, 1895.